·       If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.

·       If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.

·       If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

·       If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.

·       If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

·       A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

·       If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

·       If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.

·       If a black man or a Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.

·       Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

·       If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

·       A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

·       If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

·       Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

·       If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

·       A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

·       If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

·       A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.